Power: A User’s Guide, Julie Diamond

Review by Sophie Davis-Cohen, LCSW

When you think of power, what comes to mind? Power can evoke complex and, at times, contradicting feelings: rage, security, euphoria, stability, confinement, expansiveness, desire, envy, fear. It affects us personally, interpersonally, socially, and materially. To learn more about how power functions- on a national arena, in the socially constructed systems we are all a part of, within relationships, and within ourselves- I turned to Julie Diamond, PhD, leadership coach and consultant, and her book Power: A User’s Guide. Early in the book, Diamond writes that power is taboo: “As with all taboos, we have developed an irrational relationship with power. We hate it yet we crave it… We eye anyone in authority with suspicion, but fail to reflect on our own uses of power.”1 We know that though power can corrupt, if wielded skillfully it can change our world and ourselves for the better. Power is an integral part of our lives, so let’s take a closer look.

“Rank Is A Drug”2

We’re well aware that people in powerful positions are vulnerable to abusing their privileges. Diamond compares the experience of occupying a high-powered role to climbing Mount Everest: “The rarefied atmosphere of high power and status alters our minds, diminishing our judgment and distorting our perceptions… But here’s the difference: on Everest, climbers at high altitude feel awful… In the embrace of high power, we feel great.”1 In her book, Diamond gives a sober look at the various conditions at play in high-powered positions, helpful information for all of us as we analyze ourselves and the systems we are a part of. She shows us just how difficult it is to stay healthy up top.

Formal Power

Diamond described different types of power. “Formal power,” she writes, “can come through coercive means (threat or force), awards (incentive or reward), or legitimate means (the authority of one’s position or role in an organization).”1 It is in flux, defined by and relative to the culture/system it exists within. We each possess a unique combination of social identities, and play certain roles in systems and relationships relative to those around us and the systems we are born into. As you explore your own formal power, notice what comes up for you. In what roles, positions, identities, do you identify with holding power? What does it feel like? We know that privilege bestows us with power that can operate in an elusive, invisible manner, which can make it hard to own or identify with. A common tendency, Diamond explains, is to more easily identify with the parts of one’s self with low formal power.

For example, Shauna’s intimidating boss is often the focus of her attention. She is acutely aware of her low status at work relative to him and how terrible he makes her feel. This makes her vulnerable to misusing her power over those working under her at work. Shauna tends to overlook subordinates who “push back” more, and only give promotions to her favorite workers who give her positive feedback, because they boost her self-esteem. For Shauna, this boost takes the sting out of her boss’ negative remarks.

“Low Status is Limbic”

Feelings of low rank, or powerlessness, can lead to misuses of power. “Low rank,” she writes, “is limbic… Under threat, the limbic system—our emotional brain—kicks into gear… From an evolutionary standpoint, low rank is a matter of life and death: you’re at the mercy of something or someone with greater power… A curt email or a demeaning look can trigger the same reaction as a charging tiger.”1

Feeling powerless can be fully transfixing, prompting our fears to hijack our rational minds—blind us to our own power. How do you experience feelings of powerlessness? How do you remind yourself of the power you possess? When fear, feeling weak or fraudulent, shame, defensiveness, and reactiveness, come up we can forget about our own power, which can then lead to poor uses of the power we do have. How might feelings of powerlessness lead to an unconscious abdication of our power?

Example: Joe shuts down emotionally when faced with news about global warming. Faced with the enormity of the issue, he is overcome by feelings of powerlessness and fear, and he cannot feel or identify with the power he does have to be a part of creating a difference.

A Different Route: Personal Power

When formal power feels precarious, we can find solid footing by cultivating—or exercising—our personal power. Personal power can be grown and cultivated. It is non-hierarchical, and we can define it for ourselves. It helps us use formal power in a safe way. Personal power is knowing and accepting ourselves. It is not a place of controlling or comparing. It allows us compassion for ourselves as well as for others. “While personal power can’t be measured, its influence is incalculable… it includes our ability to make and keep friends, negotiate conflict, promote our interests to our advantage, cope with challenge, learn from difficulties, bounce back from setbacks, and be sustained by a sense of purpose and meaning in life.”1

What might personal power look like? The ability to survive the shame that comes up when a weakness or mistake is exposed. To be in the “not-knowing:” to allow oneself to let go of the power position of “expert” in order to increase one’s understanding.

How does your personal power feel to you, in your body and your mind? What relationships help you to cultivate your personal power? Psychotherapy can be a space where you can be supported to define and refine your personal power—including knowledge of your emotions and how you cope with them, your experience of all of your identities and roles, your values, your individual strengths, cultural resources, and more. Personal power is the force that lifts ourselves and others up, allowing us to feel agency in our lives and the worlds we are a part of.

1Diamond, J. (2016). Power: A User’s Guide. Santa Fe, NM: Belly Song.

2Arnold Mindell as quoted in Diamond, J. (2016). Power: A User’s Guide. Santa Fe, NM: Belly Song.